Oftentimes I find myself wondering what a given situation would be like had I done something different. For example, I’ll ask myself on occasion, “Well, would I be happier if I went through with this, or would it just cause me unease?” Everyone has to weigh his/her options at times. And this is exactly what I’m talking about.

The thought of being happy is a very in-depth one. It’s really not as easy as it seems, despite my other post that subtly hints that happiness is a mindset. But really, what does a person have to do to be happy? Sure, one could go about life without a care in the world, relaxing and having a good time. But here’s the caveat of that operation: Little would get done; one would not excel. Think of this post as a counter-argument to my other post. In a sense, it is. While people might be “too busy to live,” there’s got to be a reason for it. These people simply wouldn’t go about making their lives miserable just because they feel it’s necessary. Instead, these people seek something bigger. They seek to excel, to be successful.

Oft do I see happiness bound to success. While success may play a role in eventually being happy, it shouldn’t be the main priority. One could ask what “success” even means. People might define it differently. Success to one is tepid accomplishment (if that) to another. The point is, we all have goals and we all want to accomplish them. Perhaps this is what success is. Let’s roll with that definition. Let’s define success as the point in life at which you have achieved a certain set of goals. So now that we have a destination, let’s journey to it. But how?

One could walk to the destination, taking things slowly, one at a time. Another could sprint to the destination, taking up every opportunity possible to get to where he/she wants to be. Even another would find a medium pace at which to advance. Essentially what we’re looking at here is a means by which to excel in order to achieve our goals. But here’s the catch: it takes work. This is why simply “being happy” can’t happen. Sure, one could sit back, relax, and keep an eye to the sky every waking moment, but doing so isn’t going to help him/her advance. Relaxing all the time just doesn’t work.

To achieve a goal, one has to work toward it. We’ve established this already. But what does working toward something entail? Well, this is where the title of this post comes into play. To excel and succeed, one must do things he/she doesn’t necessarily like or enjoy. Some may argue this statement. But if you think about it, we’ve all had to go through something to reap a benefit. For example, school — it’s the perfect example. Nobody likes it; that’s a given. But attending school eventually leads one to earn a degree and subsequently, a career (I would argue this in some cases [like my own] in which a career can be made without formal schooling, but I’m speaking for the majority here). So it’s something we had to do in order to further excel into a career. We didn’t necessarily like it, but we did it anyway. This, my friends, is the art of dealing with it.

It took me a while to learn that some things just have to be done in order to get where I want to be. Hell, I’d say that I’m still not 100% sure I’ve learned why one has to deal with things. I still ask myself on a daily basis why I’m going through with school. But in the end, relaxation has to take a back seat, we have to leave our comfort zone, and do things we deem undesirable to progress. I think there’s a line that has to be drawn, though. While some things have to be done in order to advance, they shouldn’t take over your life. I mentioned that in my other post. People allow the undesirables tasks to ruin their lives. They don’t handle “dealing with it.” They let it beat them.

They key is to not concede. Work through it and keep your eyes on the prize. In a phrase, deal with it. Deal with the senseless song-and-dance life throws at you occasionally. Just don’t let it run your life. Don’t become a martyr. While things have to get done to achieve a goal, you ultimately have the power to decide whether or not you are miserable throughout the process.

So what am I saying? Should one relax? Should one be a workhorse? Well, it depends. It depends on how quickly you want to “succeed.” The quicker you want to succeed, the less time you’ll have to relax. The more time you relax, the longer it’s going to take to meet that goal. So in the end, a steady dose of both is a good idea.

I understand that this doesn’t apply to every single goal out there. I’m actually very vague in this post. I wrote all of this in response to all of the things I’ve dealt with up to this point. Dealing with things is something I’ve struggled with for a very long time and it’s a great feeling to understand that some things just have to get done to achieve a goal — even if they’re tedious and annoying at the time. In the end, it’s not about making yourself miserable. It’s about eventually making yourself as happy as possible. And if you have to go through some rough patches, so be it. Afterall, this is your happiness we’re talking about. Isn’t it worth it?

(Debate me on this. Post a comment below with your thoughts. I’d love to hear them. I’m actually split on the issue. I’ve written two articles about this happiness debate, each on totally opposite sides of the spectrum. So please, feel free to enlighten me.)

written at 1am, spur-of-the-moment

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 7:38 am and is filed under Happiness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.